10. Jamie Lee Curtis on the cover of AARP magazine! What’s not to love?!;
9. Going gray is a badge of honor (and defiance!);
8. You can stop worrying about being perfect; it would’ve happened by now;
7. You now have the right (and I grant it forthwith to any who will claim it) to laugh (kindly) in the face of the 20-year-old cashier who thinks he’s paying you a compliment by calling you “Miss”;
6. You finally understand why your parents always groaned or “ouched” when getting up off the floor or sitting down, because you’ve started doing it, and damn it, it helps;
5. If you go back to school, you are nearly guaranteed the role of the Wise and Experienced one in your classes (if you possess a modicum of wisdom and have a few good stories to tell), and your teachers will love you;
4. If someone wants you to do something that you don’t want to, you can beg off politely by making reference to unspecified “health issues”;
3. You can no longer pretend that mortality is an abstract concept, which (hopefully) leads you to come to terms with your finitude and make the best of the time you’ve got left in the physical, material world;
2. It’s easier to say what you really think, because you’ve had all those years of practice;
1. It’s fun to tromp on other people’s expectations of what it means to be old (e.g., no one’s gonna take my blue jeans, funky boots, and big silver hoop earrings away from me) . . .
Over and out!