Does anyone else deal with this besides me? 

As I shift my focus toward living in this moment (e.g., experiencing the simultaneous sounds of an across-the-street neighbor’s power mower, bird-twitter near the porch, my husband clearing his throat in the next room, the quiet ticking of the dining room clock, and the sensations of the familiar comfort of this overstuffed chair under my butt and behind my back), how do I square that with my up-to-very-recently desires for lots more people to discover/read my blog, finding a way to market my mandala drawings, and figuring out whether my intuitive painting projects might have some sort of value (not necessarily financial) to others?  All of which indicate some degree of ego-involvement on my part.

In other words, is it possible to live–fully engaged–in this exact moment, releasing my hopes and dreams for the  future, and living with intention but without expectation?

Or maybe the actual question is how do I learn to live with intention but without expectation?

And maybe another question is how does this work for artists and other creative people?

Thought I’d just throw that out there for the folks who are far more experienced and better versed in mindful living than I.

Meanwhile, it’s a fantastically gorgeous spring day here.  The sun is illuminating the leaves of the climbing rose into a semi-transparent yellow-green (which I can see through the high window of the living room), every shade of freesia is festooning the front yard, and the kittens next door are dancing their dirty little pawprints across the hood of my car.  Does it get any better than this?

My needs are simple, my wants are few.  At least in this moment.

(By the way, my apologies to any readers who, based on the title of this post, might have expected some meaningful mention of, commentary about, or misguided obeisance to the (Lady) Gaga, other than that I am bemused by her fame and her following.  So any elucidation on the subject is welcomed here . . . )





About creat1ve11

psychotherapist by trade, writer and artist by temperament, over 50 and not fighting it, love the idea of snorting milk through my nose, but have never actually done it
This entry was posted in art, creativity, existential angst, life, mindfulness, philosophy, Reflecting, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.


  1. Acey says:

    Hey there I had bookmarked your blog after our brief Knopfler-related exchange a while back. Remembered you were going to see him a month or so before I do so was checking back to see if there was a concert report yet. The theme of this has huge personal significance. Living without expectation – especially when you are also trying to live intentionally and within relatively solid creative architecture – takes an enormous amount of mindfulness; something we as a culture haven’t been given many tools for developing or even recognizing properly. It also seems to require a largely unconditional form of trust for self and larger environment. I think ongoing collaborative projects are also very useful because it gets you out of your own headspace and that’s very useful for somebody like me who chronically overthinks pretty much of everything.

    • creat1ve11 says:

      Ahhh, this all sounds familiar. Yes, I have struggled with my excessive tendency to overanalyze since adolescence (at least!). So becoming more mindful–and actually committing to the practice on a daily basis–is challenging, but there is something to this stuff. It is elegant in its simplicity, and in a world of techno-everything and multi-multi-tasking, it holds a tremendous appeal for me. So while I’m very excited about upcoming Knopfler concert (Santa Rosa, April 14th), I am still trying to stay in the moment, be present, and fully experience what’s happening right now. (But my inner teenager is jumping up and down…) I will be sure to let you know how it goes. We’ll be vacationing for a couple of days after the show, but after we get home I will probably do a post, and I’ll e-mail you as well. Take care, and have a blast at your concert!

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